Just a Season...

Transparency time -  I'll just admit it, I have grown weary (and let my spirit become malnourished because of it.) It seems to have started with not being able to sense God working in my life, I couldn’t feel His presence as I had over the summer. At first, I kept praying and seeking His truth, but then, as the weeks rolled by, I began to get discouraged, not understanding where He went; I allowed the enemy to steal my peace. I was counting “my own life dear” and began losing my joy, and making myself easy prey to the one who seeks to steal my peace, kill my joy and destroy my faith. And although I kept praying for others, my prayers lost their fervor, their zeal – and so did my walk with my God. Waking up with a certain amount of sadness and dread is not a comforting thing. I know several people who face this struggle besides myself, and lemme just say, it stinks! Nevertheless, our God is always faithful to see us through those times if we will turn our thoughts and heart toward Heaven and seek to draw close to Him – even when we don’t 'feel' like it. Quite honestly, sometimes I have allowed myself to become so focused on my own weariness that I grew self-centered instead of Christ-centered . Sad thing is, we seek rest in the wrong ways because the enemy let’s us be when we are not finding our respite in Christ. Truthfully, he doesn’t care about us when we aren’t doing anything for Jesus, and to get a “break” from his assault is what is so alluring to the flesh and mind in the first place; and what do we do?  We listen to the subtle lies of the adversary. But oh the leanness that is sent to our souls when we lay down our armor, even for a little while.  I may not know how to pray (or what to pray) as I go through this weird valley I’m walking, but, I do know He has told me that I can trust Him to be in my midst, and that I “shall not be moved." He will show up “right at the break of dawn.” (Ps. 46:5) I know that He has told me to reach out to others for their prayers and counsel, for surely, "two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. (Eccl. 4:9‭-‬10) I have seen that “as iron sharpens iron, so does the counsel of a good friend." I know what it means to both bear a burden for a friend, as well as have my own burdens bore by another. It matters not if I 'feel' my Father, I can always trust that He is there with an everlasting love, and a power to see me ton hrough. So, I will keep looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith, knowing that this is just a trying season, and it is "working patience, and patience experience and experience hope." (Rom. 5:4)  And, I will pray - after all, that's where the battle is won now isn't it.

♡t