unwavering

It was the dead of winter last year when the Lord was gracious enough to teach me a couple much needed lessons on faith.  I pray you will be blessed when you finish reading this today….

After standing outside in the cold weather for over 40 minutes, the little lady politely, or rather kinda politely, told me my paper work from this year was going to have to be changed.  This meant a 45 minute delay because I had to run to the office where I could get the right information required.  Now, in being totally honest with you guys, I was upset.  Because, I just knew that by the time I returned , they would have no more availability and I would be delayed once more. 

 Now, I said all this  to give you a little background as to why I began to pray.  I wish I could say that I prayed  honorably and patiently in the Spirit; but at first, I was complaining.  Within  a few minutes, God gently reminded me that life is sometimes hard and most often we get ourselves in those predicaments.  That thought changed my course of action.  All I could think of then was just how good God was in allowing me to even HAVE the opportunity to meet with these people.  My past circumstances had led to right where I was.  It was my mistakes that led me here.  NOT His.  And, even though I fail Him… he NEVER rejects me.   He will ALWAYS guide me in every situation.   He knows all my thoughts and has me in the palm of His hand.  As I made to the other side of town; satan once more chimed in, taunting me …”This place doesn’t open till 9… you will definitely lose your spot now, see, how’s that new attitude working now?” 

 But, my Lord is bigger and HIS WORD is where it is at!!!  So, I reached for the little pocket Bible I sometimes car.  Sitting there in the car waiting for them to open, I began to read and pray that God would give me the guidance and answers I was desperately seeking in ALL areas of my life:  Finances, health, family relationships, my friendships and most importantly, my walk with God. What HE showed me was beyond anything I could deserve.  There were three places He took me to …and I would love now to share those with you…..

 I began to flip through the pages and the first one I came to was the passage of the woman with this issue of blood.  Now I have read and listened to sermons on this lots of times.  But, on this particular morning, God, in His grace, gave me a new truth.   

(And Jesus immediately knowing in himself that virtue had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, an d said, WHO touched my clothes? And his disciples said unto him,  “Thou seest the mulitiude THRONGING thee, an d sayest thou, WHO touched me?”  And He looked round about to see her that had done this thing. But the woman fearing and trembling, knowing what was done in her, came and fell down before him and told him all the truth and he said unto her “Daughter, they faith hath made thee whole; go in peace and be  whole of thy plague.”  Mark 5:30-33)

Now, I have always seen this as a miracle and it still is; but, this time when I read it I saw a truth that shed a light in my heart that I had never picked up on before.  Jesus said “Who touched me?”  and the disciples, like we are many times , were oblivious- caught up in the commotion of life and basically said , “why would you ask  who touched you when there are multitudes touching you Master?”.  But Jesus KNEW there was something different … her FAITH!  WOW!  I want to have that kind of faith.  The kind that makes Him stop and take notice over all those other people.  Can you imagine just how many people are crying out, talking to Him EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY… the number is not even fathomable. 

When He is listening to all the prayers that go up; I wanna be that woman so full of faith that He says “Wait, someone is talking to me.  Who is that with so much faith, I want to see and listen" … Oh that my Savior would say of me…" Your faith  is what will make you whole”    This has encouraged me to work at not wavering in that same faith… 

"If any of you lack wisdom let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. BUUUUT let him ask in FAITH , NOTHING wavering.  For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind an d tossed:  for let not that man think that he shall receive ANY thing of the Lord.  A double minded man is unstable in all his ways".  James 1:5-8

The answers sometime are much easier than we could ever imagine.  I tend to say  “Lord, help me know what to do”  But, often I have not really wanted to see the truth because of my own selfish desires that may not be bad ones, just not what is meant to be.  I don’t want to waver from my faith in HIM to have faith in someone else.  When I try to lean only to what seems to feel right and ignore the Lord gently leading me, all because I think I know what is best; I can’t blame God when hurt comes my way.  God will ALWAYS lead us… often he speaks volumes in silence.  When we have searched and searched for God to basically sky write his answer to a certain dilemma, we miss what is right in front of us in the small things… because we waver… we want what we want and we get so scared to just trust that he may be leading us  to a new adventure away from our comfort zone. 

I know that I often have thought  when I pray that I am praying openly to God;  that I am intently listening to His answer. Even though I say, ”God, I pray for your will to be done”  my mind and heart are wanting his answer to be what I WANT them to be….  And even though my desires may be good ones and totally what is natural to feel, they just may not be what HE wants. 

 Often when I don’t see Him moving in the direction of where my heart is, I think, ‘Well, I guess I will just stay put because he hasn’t given me an answer yet’.  All because I am not getting the answer that I want.  Many times I miss out on secret blessings that He has in store for me;  because, I don’t close my eyes and look within and hear the words in his silent movement.  

Elijah was in danger and fleeing from enemies that were seeking to kill him.  Take into account he had just witnessed the powerful hand of God set fire to a waterlogged altar and yet he STILL was overwhelmed with fear and sadness that he prayed for God to take his life.  But our God is faithful.  He sent an angel to minister  to him while he slept and he made his way to a cave and lodged there for safety.  But when God showed up, he questioned Elijah.   He tries to explain everything to the Lord but the WORD of the Lord was leading Elijah to come out and stand on the mountain out in the open for his enemies to see… wouldn’t you think twice?  That would be scary! Elijah didn’t immediately do this…  he was still waiting for the Lord to SHOW up in mighty way but the Scriptures says this…

 “and a great and strong wind rent the mountains and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was NOT  in the wind; and after the wind and earthquake; but the Lord was NOT  in the earthquake and after the earthquake a fire but the lord was NOT  in the fire  and after the fire, a still small voice and it was so when  Elijah heard  it, that he wrapped his face in this mantle and went out and stood in the entering of the cave and there came a VOICE  unto him and said.... “  I Kings 19:11-12

The same question came to Elijah from before; but, THIS time it WAS God showing up and speaking to him.  But, it was NOT in a thunderous way;  it was in the small still voice. Only  then was Elijah able to have that whole conversation over again and find peace. (I kings 19:13-20) He almost missed it by trying to find Him in all the loud and obvious places.  But, because he took the time to listen to God’s voice and not JUST look for signs and wonders to build his faith, he found peace and ultimately victory.  And his ministry continued.  He even came to a place where he was able to humble himself and listen to Elisha, the younger prophet of God…(I kings 19: 1-21) WOW… what a blessing all because the trial and fear he faced was finally overcame through the small still voice of the Lord.  

I, just like Elijah, want to sometimes read God’s Word and be surrounded with this burning bush type of moment to know what to do.  But, oh, if I could just listen to that voice that beckons me in the simple ways and truths that I often overlook because they seem so ordinary.  He  has such blessings waiting on me;  and  fear or lack of faith to chase after Him holds me in place; and, I will never learn to truly hear the beauty of His answers coming in  His quiet way.   

I go back to James 1:5-8--  God can not give me wisdom to know what to do if I only want Him to dole out what I want to hear.  That is selfish of me.  Yes, he says that if we seek him and ask , it will be given unto us… but, ask ye not amiss!!!  Many of us forget that last part.  Sometimes we want something soooo badly that it seems like we just can’t get peace about it. We can’t move past the fact that He has already spoken and said differently than what WE wanted.  We believe our intent is pure…how could it not be…”Lord, I am asking for a good thing to be done; so why won’t you give me peace about it one way or the other?’” And the whole time…he already has tried... the answer has already been given.  

Satan used what Eve knew to get her off course.  Why would we not think he does the same to us… “ Oh, well, now, that’s not wrong… you are asking for something honorable so …surely He doesn’t mean for you to do anything about it” , this just adding confusion to our plate.  While the whole time God DOES want us to make a move FORWARD in HIS grace and take steps to better our walk and live within HIM.  He fills or lives with GOOD things the psalmist David says in Psalms 103 verse 5.  But often, I don’t see them for what they really are: and, I miss out because I am just not listening.  It isn’t what I wanna hear.  Sad, I know!  But, true …for many of us.  I want to hear His voice.  

The world is so loud and it is easy to think I hear Him in the noise of others because it seems like good advice and sometimes it IS; but often it is tempered with human emotions and bias; because, they love us and don’t want to see us hurt.  Don’t get me wrong… Godly women are a major asset in this young christian’s life; and, I listen and heed to their wisdom.  But it is so important to take that sage advice and couple it with your own study of the Word, bathing it in much prayer, to find where God wants you to be. 

 His plan for me is different than someone else’s. That is where I am going with all of this… Daily prayer and studying of His Word is where it is all at.  FAITH, DILLIGENCE and a heart that is steady and open to listening …even when it is something you don’t want to hear about yourself or your life’s choice.

Just recently in my life I was asked a question...."Do you feel you are right where you are supposed to be?" and trust me, the battle that has been going on inside of me is EXACTLY where this study was born from.  I wrestled with my Lord; because all logic and reason were telling me that I needed to rethink the situation...but, God just would NOT let me go anywhere else.  He had been working on me for a long time and the calling in my life was Spiritually evident; but, not in my mind.  I was fearful.  I felt so unworthy to do what God was so adamantly telling me to do.  I second guessed myself...and honestly I STILL second guess ME...but, not HIM!  Everyone around me has said, are you sure it is God and not just you or the devil luring you into something?   Believe me when I say this... I WISH I could have had him sky write my answer, especially when I feel so unworthy of it all.  But, one day, after much prayer and many, many tears, the Lord led me to "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD!!"  I surrendered my will to His and no matter what I have to face... HE has me where He wants me and that my friends is enough for me to take the leap of faith.  

And in reality, it isn't much of a leap.  God doesn't ask much from us.  Just a tiny step.  We don't have to swim in the River Jordan as it is flooding… all we have to do is dip our toe in the overflow!!!

 And as they that bare the ark were come unto Jordan, and the feet of the priests that bare the ark were dipped in the brim of the water, (for Jordan overfloweth all his banks all the time of harvest,) That the waters which came down from above stood and rose up upon an heap very far from the city Adam, that is beside Zaretan: and those that came down toward the sea of the plain, even the salt sea, failed, and were cut off: and the people passed over right against Jericho;  And the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the LORD stood firm on dry ground in the midst of Jordan, and all the Israelites passed over on dry ground, until all the people were passed clean over Jordan…

Do you get that?  God brings the water to YOU upon the dry bank... you don't even have to put your whole foot in... it is your TOE people...your TOE.  TAKE A CHANCE on God!  He will always make it worth your time and effort!  

The children of Israel walked across while God pushed the waves to the side.  I am sure they were scared to see the waves beside them and above them; but, God had their back!!  As their feet got muddy and maybe sometimes stuck; they had to put a little effort in picking them up and walking on; TRUSTING the water was not going to fall and drown them.  Can you imagine feeling the mist off the wall of water on each side?  That is just the way life is... just because we stepped out in faith once into the water doesn't mean we don't have to KEEP walking in faith!

... Canaan was right ahead... the promise land full of blessings beyond compare.  Victory awaited them.  It awaits you and I as well!  So, come on out of the cave and dip your toe in the water of an unwavering faith!