This evening, this post comes through my newsfeed:

“…gunshots fired right beside our car in Kmart parking lot. JJ gets out calls cops and cop coming to scene t-bones an suv!!!!! CRAZYYYY!!!"

My brother, his wife and all his kids were there, gunshots firing right beside their car, and the cop coming to help was sidelined with his own catastrophe. While I was relieved, and thankful that they were ok, and the assailant was taken into custody, I still couldn’t help think about how quickly a life (lives) could have been taken. I praised the Lord for protecting them, and then something came to my spirit – we all carry such immense potential to “fire” misguided bullets of anger, resentment, pride, jealously, bitterness, hurtful words and actions. Just like the woman with the real gun did, we get caught up in our own world, we see only our own hurt and discontentedness, and the ones in close proximity to us end up being the ones affected most. Sometimes, like a ticket of entitlement, we use our situations, hurts and confusion as an excuse to carry on in a way that is not kind, or very considerate of those who love us. I know it’s human to have bad moments, bad days, heck, even bad weeks; nevertheless, we are to be careful that our “speech always be with grace.” (Col. 4:6) I know that’s incredibly difficult sometimes when you are hurting, I’m the worst at it so very often, yet, we still are called to do it. And, it stings when I read, "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me," (Phil. 4:13) because, I know that means I have to get my mind off myself and on to Him. That’s not as easy as it sounds cause I battle the “it’s all about me” syndrome at times. I'm sure my nephews will not ever forget how scared they were tonight, and neither do the people we hurt. Just a thought, life is precious – so, where’s your aim?

♡t

Just a Season...

Transparency time -  I'll just admit it, I have grown weary (and let my spirit become malnourished because of it.) It seems to have started with not being able to sense God working in my life, I couldn’t feel His presence as I had over the summer. At first, I kept praying and seeking His truth, but then, as the weeks rolled by, I began to get discouraged, not understanding where He went; I allowed the enemy to steal my peace. I was counting “my own life dear” and began losing my joy, and making myself easy prey to the one who seeks to steal my peace, kill my joy and destroy my faith. And although I kept praying for others, my prayers lost their fervor, their zeal – and so did my walk with my God. Waking up with a certain amount of sadness and dread is not a comforting thing. I know several people who face this struggle besides myself, and lemme just say, it stinks! Nevertheless, our God is always faithful to see us through those times if we will turn our thoughts and heart toward Heaven and seek to draw close to Him – even when we don’t 'feel' like it. Quite honestly, sometimes I have allowed myself to become so focused on my own weariness that I grew self-centered instead of Christ-centered . Sad thing is, we seek rest in the wrong ways because the enemy let’s us be when we are not finding our respite in Christ. Truthfully, he doesn’t care about us when we aren’t doing anything for Jesus, and to get a “break” from his assault is what is so alluring to the flesh and mind in the first place; and what do we do?  We listen to the subtle lies of the adversary. But oh the leanness that is sent to our souls when we lay down our armor, even for a little while.  I may not know how to pray (or what to pray) as I go through this weird valley I’m walking, but, I do know He has told me that I can trust Him to be in my midst, and that I “shall not be moved." He will show up “right at the break of dawn.” (Ps. 46:5) I know that He has told me to reach out to others for their prayers and counsel, for surely, "two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. (Eccl. 4:9‭-‬10) I have seen that “as iron sharpens iron, so does the counsel of a good friend." I know what it means to both bear a burden for a friend, as well as have my own burdens bore by another. It matters not if I 'feel' my Father, I can always trust that He is there with an everlasting love, and a power to see me ton hrough. So, I will keep looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith, knowing that this is just a trying season, and it is "working patience, and patience experience and experience hope." (Rom. 5:4)  And, I will pray - after all, that's where the battle is won now isn't it.

♡t

Both Day and Night...

Sometimes I find that sitting down to read the Word of God isn’t easy to do. I get distracted, my thoughts are here,  there, and everywhere, and, I find myself growing frustrated that I’m not more disciplined. Then, this happens – He loves me anyway – and blesses me with truth about His truth. Lately, as I have been moving through Psalm 1 (at a snail’s pace it seems) I am beginning to see how much I miss when I rush through a reading just to say, “yay, I got my daily word in!” Last year, in one of my classes, we talked about how spiritual disciplines become more of a duty instead of devotion. I get busy, grow increasingly tired as the school year moves along, and I lose sight of the richness of grace and power found in His law; I forget how beautiful it is to abide within its safety. Psalm 1:2 pricked my hurried heart this morning about that very thing. When all is well, and the light is shining (day,) when the Holy Spirit’s comfort surrounds me, I need to carefully consider the forcefully compelling teachings and facts (law) He has laid before me in His word, focusing on their truth and power. I need to mentally plan (meditate) a strategy– an offensive battle plan constructed from His law; and, in unison, when the final part of the day comes, the darkness falls, night has come and it’s time to defend my soul and the souls of those around me, I will remember the day’s mediations, I will focus my thoughts toward their truth and power. The day and night become a force to be reckoned with when I make them both a dwelling place firmly fixed upon the Him. God’s word is full of treasure, and this morning, while the light shines, He is reminding me of that faithful fact. So, when the night falls, and the black of midnight tries to assail my soul, may  I find myself securely planted amid the strength of His word!

♡t

But his delight in in the law of the Lord, and in His law he mediates both day and night.  Psalm 1:2

A walk to remember....

God’s favor rests upon His children when we separate ourselves from the enemy camp. (Ps. 1:1) God delights to stay connected to us, but many times, we find our plans and purpose being influenced by all the wrong things. To desire His divine protection, and long for a right relationship with our Father is where victory lies.

  I am beginning to understand more and more just how important it is to be a steward that seeks to take great pleasure in the Lord’s word and will, and not take counsel from, or tarry among the negative and disrespectful influences of the enemy. It may be, learning a pilgrim's walk with God is harder than one would realize, but totally doable through Jesus (all things remember?) And, although this world is not my home, (Heb. 13:14) as a Christian, I am never to act as judge and jury of others, this is not what loving Him is about - rather, I am to rejoice in His grace, understanding that it is He who is my Savior, and live my life in such a manner that others see His redeeming and powerful love. (Acts 22:15, John 3:16, Heb. 9:12)

Although it was hard to take in at first, His word enlightened and moved me today, and gave me a sense of direction and peace - and even though obedience is often difficult, therein lies the reward – a walk to remember.

♡t

Psalm 1:1-2 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly , nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord and he mediates in it both day and night.

He loves me...

What a beautiful thing, this love our Father has for us. It overwhelms me, there are no words to describe it. I'm thankful that He hears me in the morning, during the day, the evening and even in the wee hours of the night. His favor surrounds me like a shield. (Ps. 5:12)  I'm thankful He will guide me, teach me, and lead me along the path of life, knowing I am a stranger in a foreign land, and I don't know where I'm going on most days. I'm grateful He delights to deliver me, longs to bring me joy and dances with pleasure at the thought of me. What??? He rejoices over me, with singing?? (Zeph. 3:17)  Again, what a good good Father I have, one that makes me feel so special, nurtured and loved.  I love the mere mention of His name, my heart overflows with joy today because He loves me. (Ps. 5:11c)

♡t

Hosea and Gomer

From the beginning of Hosea's account, the very subject he addresses is infused with the uncomfortable theme of sexual debauchery. Nevertheless, reading it through the lense of spiritual context helps to bring a richness to the text that transcends the nature of the content. Teaching the passages of Hosea would require honesty, and a brave approach from beginning to end, because of the truth contained in this prophet of God's message. One of the most provocative portions for me stands out in the juxtaposition of Chapter 2, 4-5 and verses 14, 19-20,23 - 

  “Bring charges against your mother, bring charges; For she is not My wife, nor am I her Husband! Let her put away her harlotries from her sight, And her adulteries from between her breasts; Lest I strip her naked And expose her, as in the day she was born, And make her like a wilderness, And set her like a dry land, And slay her with thirst. “I will not have mercy on her children, For they are the children of harlotry. For their mother has played the harlot; She who conceived them has behaved shamefully. For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers, Who give me my bread and my water, My wool and my linen, My oil and my drink.

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, Will bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her. “I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me In righteousness and justice, In lovingkindness and mercy; I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, And you shall know the Lord ."

Hosea had been obedient to marry Gomer because of His love for God, not necessarily out of a true love for Gomer, yet, at the end of it all, this has shifted. The words he uses to explain what transpired is full of emotion, righteous anger, tenderness and surrender, which is a beautiful picture of God's adoration toward His children. Hosea promises a betrothal of faithfulness that I am quite certain Gomer had never experienced, and, I dare say, it was also likely did not feel worthy of it either. God is divine and He loves us just because. To know that before redemption, we were slaves to sin, prostitutes of the flesh, God could have, with all justification, left us there. Nevertheless, just as Hosea bought Gomer off the auction block "with fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a lethech of barley" (3:2) God bought us back too, except our debt was forgiven at a much steeper price - His only Son's blood - definitely a love I had never known before, and I am certain I am not worthy of. 

When I read how the Lord said to Hosea, “Go again, love a woman who  is loved by a lover and is committing adultery, just like the love of the Lord for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of  the  pagans.

I cannot help but recall this verse from the Psalms, "He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me." (18:19) The fact that His love for His children is so complete is the most provocative thing of all - shockingly wonderful ! 

The Bible Tells Me So...

I'm really bad about letting my voicemail get full, so, tonite, as I was emptying it out, I listened to ones that I had saved several months back. As I listened to a familiar voice, it struck me that the only truth I can count on is Jesus loves me, beyond that, life is a risky business. Nonetheless, it's a beautiful adventure of trusting that He is "faithful to establish, strengthen and guard us from the evil one," (2 Thess. 3:3) and that He has "fashioned all of our days." (Ps. 139:16b) "Why should I worry, why should I fear - when the very same Jesus is always near...," especially when stepping out on faith with an open heart? Hurt and disappointments; mistakes and sadness are just as much a part of this life as joy and love, and excitement and peace are. Learning to trust Him with my heart and life is a process. I'm sure thankful that everyone of His promises are Yes and Amen in Christ Jesus - I can count on them, cause the Bible tells me so.

♡t

I love the Word of God, it is so full of treasures. We could never have enough time to seek them all out - they are too vast. But when we do seek, we are promised that we will find. Let me explain. As I was going though my Bible study today, the author encouraged us to take one of the verses from the readings and personalize it. When I came across Acts 11:23-24, I began writing it out  (inserting my name in key parts) and man, did it ever make my soul wiggle with conviction and excitement. How many times had I heard sermons preached about "the encourager," Barnabas - too many to recount; but today, those verses became priceless jewels to my heart. Barnabas testimony became very real to me because I have seen the grace of God, and I long to be an encourager for Christ like he was. I pray to grow, and become a woman of deep faith and full of the Holy Spirit, a woman with a testimony that makes a difference, leading people to look to Jesus. I am not always the student of the Word that I should be, nevertheless, He is always the faithful provider of truth, forgiveness and grace when I seek Him. As I encourage all of us to be in His word, I am reminded that it is our Father's good pleasure to give us the kingdom, (Luke 12:32) and His word is where wisdom and direction are found. (James 1:5, Prov. 3:5-6) So, let's go hunt some treasure, shall we?

♡t
                             
                  

When he came and had seen the grace of God, he was glad, and encouraged them all that with purpose of heart they should cleave unto the Lord. For he was a good man full of the Holy Ghost and of faith. And a great many people were added to the Lord. (Acts 11:23‭-‬24)

Spending time ...

I woke up this morning at 4:30 and was unable to fall back to sleep; so, I got up, thinking maybe there was something the LORD needed to say. I have tons of resources, and usually, I pick one up and it fits my day; however, this morning wasn't starting off that way. As I opened my Bible I thought, "I don't know what to read Lord, I'm kinda lost for direction." Do you ever have those 'lean' times where you find that not all quiet times are full of deep insight and buckets of tears? Well, I have, and He is teaching me that sometimes, it's simply about spending time with Him, allowing yourself to read and enjoy the beauty of His words,  finding yourself within the struggles and joys of the people who have lived it all before you. He will always "guide me with [His] counsel, there is none upon the earth that I desire besides [Him.] (Psalm 73:24-25) Often He isn't in the wind or the earthquake or fire, He is in the still small voice, and those times that we believe to be lean, are in fact, more full of His presence than we realize. (I Kings 19)

♡t

Thank You!

Thank you for the rain - it nourishes the ground and calms my spirit.
Thank you for my memories, they keep me grounded and thankful.
Thank you for my church - they are stuck with me forever ;-)
Thank you for the honesty and encouragement of friends - iron sharpens iron
Thank you for surprise packages in the mail - they make my heart smile!
Thank you for tears - they wash out the soul's sadness.
Thank you for the detour of heartbreak - it leads you to the place you are supposed to be.
Thank you for knowing me and planning me a great future - I'm looking forward to it!
Thank you for dying for me -  with each stripe, each wound, you conquered death and hell for me.

Thank you for old restored barns - they remind me you make old things new !

 Thank you for your Relentless Grace - I am a debtor set free.

It's Only Cold for a Second

And Joshua said to the people, “Sanctify yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you.” And it shall come to pass, as soon as the soles of the feet of the priests who bear the ark of the Lord , the Lord of all the earth, shall rest in the waters of the Jordan, that the waters of the Jordan shall be cut off, the waters that come down from upstream, and they shall stand as a heap.” And as those who bore the ark came to the Jordan, and the feet of the priests who bore the ark dipped in the  edge of the water (for the Jordan overflows all its banks during the whole time of harvest), Then the priests who bore the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the midst of the Jordan; and all Israel crossed over on dry ground, until all the people had crossed completely over the Jordan. (Joshua 3:5, 13-13, 15, 17)


I stood at the edge of the water today, and I couldn't help but think of Joshua and the children of Israel, standing on the banks of the Jordan River - facing one more obstacle, and expecting a miracle. God was standing ready to redirect the waters of Jordan, to stop the currents and allow His children to walk through. I believe what moved me the most today was that because of Joshua's faithfulness to listen to God and the priests' willingness to act in faith the miracle was enacted. As I moved my feet closer to the edge of the water,  I thought about how little God asks of me; and yet, I still struggle to walk out in faith sometimes. He nugdes me to take such tiny steps, so why do I find myself doubting and hesitating? Our obedient faith, like the priests', has the potential to touch lives, encourage them, and engage the throne room of Heaven. This should be all we need to motivate us - this realization that He uses us to help others reach their destination - remembering, He's waiting, ready to perform miracles, we only need to dip our toes in the edge of the water. It's only cold for a second. 

Live Life Well...

 

For the past few months, as I've driven back and forth to school, this old barn had captured my attention many times. I really don't know why, other than it reminds me that everything, once upon a time, was new. Time marches on, and it doesn't stand still for anyone; so,

stop and take the pictures you want to, 5 minutes of beauty makes your soul happy;

stop at that roadside Farmer's stand and buy fresh veggies, your tummy will say thank you;

spend that extra hour watching cartoons with your babies, it makes them feel special (and it will make your heart smile);

travel, take mini-vacations, life is too grand of an adventure to miss it;

go on day road trips with a good friend (and laugh til your sides hurt), it's good for your health;

never stop being one who learns, your mind will thank you for it;

sit at the side of the lake, the ocean, a stream or the creek, and just be still, and listen, it will quiet your hurried soul;

take the time to have good, old fashioned, actual, honest-to-goodness conversations; the art of communication is more valuable than you realize;

let your kids help you make pancakes at midnight, a few giggles, glasses of milk and sweet late-night conversations make fantastic memories;

take the time to look up at the stars more than you look down at your phone, trust me, God's been working on me about this one;

say "thank you" more and more everyday, a life lived in gratitude makes for a pleasant attitude;

don't just say kind words, BE kind, it will lift another person's spirit, and bless your own;

The psalmist had it right when he said, "So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom." Life is so precious, live it well my friends, enjoy every moment..

 

His Girl Again

I flipped the pages to the calendar this evening, and was overwhelmed with my memories. 6 years ago, I was in what, to me, felt like a dungeon of despair. I was an addict who mourned a life she could only dream of. I remembered the call of my spirit to be His "girl again." I longed to make Him proud, I just didn't think I ever could.

I remember, even in my misery, my sin, my sadness, His word was my conviction, and it was my comfort. The dates in my Bible seem like a lifetime ago now, but wow, what a difference 6 years, and a marvelous Savior, can make!!  As I unpacked these golden nuggets from the storehouse of grace tonite, I could only weep with gratitude.

I am grateful His hand is salvation, and He heard me even though my sins had hidden His face from me. My paths had undoubtedly been crooked and finding my way back home was a long journey; nevertheless, the light did come. If you only knew that girl 6 years ago, you'd know why I find it amazing to have the beautiful life I do, and why I love Him so. I'm thankful He heard my prayer, and that even when I didn't feel like I was His girl, to my Father, I always was.


Behold, the Lord ’s hand is not shortened, That it cannot save; Nor His ear heavy, That it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, So that He will not hear. The way of peace they have not known, And there  is no justice in their ways; They have made themselves crooked paths; Whoever takes that way shall not know peace...

Arise, shine; For your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. “Instead of bronze I will bring gold, Instead of iron I will bring silver, Instead of wood, bronze, And instead of stones, iron. I will also make your officers peace, And your magistrates righteousness. Violence shall no longer be heard in your land, Neither wasting nor destruction within your borders; But you shall call your walls Salvation, And your gates Praise.
   Isaiah 59:1-2, 15. Isaiah 60:1, 17-18

Cars, Bathtubs and Stillness

Sometimes when I'm sitting here, and the day is peaceful, and life isn't such a hurried mess, I find myself thinking about how good it is to sit still before the Lord and just be quiet. However, what happens to that stillness when I get lost in tomorrow's inevitable chaos? It becomes more of a seemingly elusive choice,  a choice to stop, even if for one minute, and be quiet. (My car or bathtub are looking pretty promising as domains of quietness) No phone, computer, textbook, or people to distract my collective focus on simply listening, and feeling His breath upon my scattered soul.

I'm not saying it will be easy by any means, but I am telling myself it is possible, because it is my choice. His words of promise, redemption, instruction and love assure me that He wants what is best for us individually, and as a collective creation, learning to lean on Him, listen and stand still before Him is an action..."belief is a verb" is how Ann Voskamo puts it, I liked that.

So, my friend, I am sending out a word of encouragement for you to stand still, and see His salvation, listen to His voice, it is possible to hear it, even in the midst of a crazy world and even busier life. Let His word uplift your tired soul and weary heart - His pleasure is to give you the kingdom, so shouldn't we trust Him for even the smallest if things?

 "There are many plans in a man’s heart,
nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand. “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,  Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. Commit your works to the Lord,
And your thoughts will be established. “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." (Luke 12:32, Proverbs 19:21, Isaiah 55: 8-9, Proverbs 16:3)

My soul is comforted ...

My time with the Lord this morning has been so peaceful.  You know when you are with a really really good friend and it doesn't matter if you say one word or not, the silence often is more golden than the audible  conversation?  Well, that's kinda what I'm talking about today, it's just really quiet and still, every now and again, He will whisper a verse to my soul through the stillness, but it's just so gentle ... ahhhh, my soul, what comfort there is to be found in sitting still with my Friend, my Father, my Peace.

"...the breath of the Almighty hath given me life." (Job 33:4b)